Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
 |
| Photo Credit: centralasian |
Do you ever feel like you are living with a split personality? I don't mean a legit dissociative identity disorder. No, that is a serious mental illness and this post is not meant to make light of that in any way.
What I mean is this: Do you ever feel like you have to hide the "real" you from the public? Like you have to put on a mask, a face, a show for everyone else? Like the person you really are just won't be acceptable to everyone else, so you pretend to be the person that you are expected to be? Maybe you aren't even pretending. Maybe on some level, you are that person. It's just not the whole of who you are or who you need to be. So tell me, have any of you ever felt this way?
I would be lying if I said that I haven't. There are times when I feel like I am not socially acceptable. Like the people that know me would have an all out freak out if they could see the things that go on in my head every day. If they knew the things I wanted to do, the person I wanted to be. . that maybe they wouldn't want to be around me anymore. That thought used to put me into a panic. I mean who would I be without the people around me? If I lost all the people that I cared about what would I do?
One day it hit me. . who gives a damn? It's not like I'm sitting her with murderous thoughts. . .so who gives a damn what other people think. I need to live my life for me. I can't do that if I'm still putting on a show for the sake of others. I have to be me. . every part of me. Some parts you might like, some parts you might not and I'm ok with that.
I didn't write all this to say I'm about to become a different person. Actually quite the opposite. I'm still going to be the same me, because at the core none of that has changed. I've just decided to stop hiding the parts of myself that others may find uncomfortable. What does that mean exactly. . who the hell knows. Only time will tell. I hope you all come along for the ride.
Before I go I want to say this. . .leave me comments if you have felt this way. If you want to change. . or if you just have comments on the topic
Until we met again..
A
i think this is everybody, really. throughout our lives, our friendships and associations are created around social circumstances that have their own unique characteristics: school, work, knitting circle, soccer league, etc...and each of those circumstances develops a different facet of our personality, which for most people has hundreds of facets. over time though, many of those circumstances - like work and family - that nurtured a particular set of behaviors, becomes kind of a cage...now, those patterns are set and a deviation from those expectations defies the stability of that circumstance. so we just learn to be different "people" for different situations...
ReplyDeleteThis is true. But don't you find it kind of troubling that we all tend to feel the need to stay inside that cage? I mean, I'm not saying we should behave the way we do in a bar with friends when we are at work or with say a church group, but shouldn't we feel comfortable enough to be exactly who we are in every facet of our lives??
Deletewell, i think i'm more frustrated that more people don't see that our social structures are arbitrary and, honestly, ultimately meaningless. everyone always says how "refreshing" it is to work with, church with, or study with someone who just "puts it all out there," and lives confidently and authentically, yet so few are willing to follow that example. we all have a drive to display our authenticity, yet we still feel obligated to these structures that inhibit authentic behavior. though, i can't say i find that "troubling" per se, i just feel that many of our social mores are outdated...i think our social framework hasn't really caught up to the explosion of randomness that technology has allowed our personalities to engage in, and that people in our age group feel that frustration the most as we're kind of the "transition generation" between the "way-it-always-was" and "OMGZ INTERNET!!" things always change, though, and i'm sure in 20 years we'll think back on how we used to be and it'll all seem quaint...but in the meantime, we may as well just be who we want to be. everyone else can either adapt or waste their time being offended. :)
ReplyDeleteI love how you described us. . the transition generation. I always struggle to come up with a way to describe how I feel. . that's exactly it. . we're kind of stuck in the middle.
DeleteYes, I can relate. I think we do this out of risk of being judged. I am transparent (sometimes to a fault) and I've become comfortable with who I am. If you get me, fine. If you don't then that's fine too. I don't care what others think of me. I have crazy thoughts running through my often and that's why I blog lol. But it's okay. The funny thing is, my family don't have a clue that I have a public blog and I have entire different life outside of what they know. And I'm totally good with that. :)
ReplyDeleteI think that's also why I started blogging. . .so I can let it out! It's public so it's not at all hidden. . I even post links to my blog on all of my social network pages (FB, Twitter, G+), but I'm sure most of the people that don't know the "real" me, won't even take the time to check it out. Over the years I have become more and more comfortable with who I am. . so while to some degree I care what some people think, for the most part. . .I don't give a damn!!!
DeleteI think I sometimes acted a little different sometimes. Sometimes when I say things that are not "G" rated, people get a little shocked.
ReplyDeleteI don't think you show all your sides to people because it's not really necessary. For example, not everyone needs to know how much of a sexual deviant or prude you are. Or what really on your mind all the time.
I think with all the social outlets now, people are quicker to show their true colors. This has it's pros and cons. Example, pro athlete tweeted about how he is disappointed in his coach after a bad game. That leads to bad press and eventually getting him on the bench. If he would have thought about the reaction before he tweeted maybe he could have avoid that situation.
I personally have different sides to me that I don't voluntarily show right away because I want you to dug deeper and get to know. What else are we going to talk about for the next 50 years if we show all our cards. lol